January – the month of heartbreak

January – the month of heartbreak

Marriages in Manchester could be coming to an end now the festive season is over as couples are more likely to go their separate ways in January. Katie Thistleton investigates

January 3rd unofficially labelled 'National Divorce Day'

It seems strains start to show over the Christmas and New Year period, causing unhappy partners to call everything off before they've even taken down their Christmas trees.

 

In fact, January usually sees more than double the number of divorce enquiries than during other months.

 

The year 2012 has already brought such announcements from high-profile celebrity couples such as Katy Perry and Russell Brand, who've been married for 14 months, and Katherine Jenkins and Gethin Jones, who were engaged to be married this summer.

 

The Jenkins and Jones split is rumoured to have been caused by Jenkins' career and 'all-consuming' ambition, whereas Brand is said to have become tired of Perry's constant partying and refusal to settle down.

 

So just what is it about the festive period that brings the break-ups on?

 

Joanne Alley, 26 from Ashton-Under-Lyne, Manchester, split from her partner on January 2nd.

 

“I would say our split happened when it did because we were forced to spend more time together over the winter break,” she said.

 

“We were already at the stage where we were arguing every night, even when we hadn’t seen each other all day, so Christmas was always going to be a challenge,”

 

“Also – I thought of the new year as a new start!”

 

Spending a lot of time with the other person is just one of the aspects many believe contributes to early-January break-ups.

 

It is thought that in many cases money struggles and the winter blues can cause people to become more irritable and miserable, therefore more likely to argue with a partner who they might not be getting on with in the first place.

 

Family Lawyer Lisa Pepper, said: “There’s a lot of expectation built up for Christmas – to have a good time, a ‘perfect’ Christmas for the children – for everyone,”

 

“The reality can be very different and I think it can be a pressure cooker time in some households – having in-laws and extended family round, the expense and money worries, alcohol, disappointment…it can turn out not to be the ideal we’ve built up in our minds.”

 

Lisa, who specialises in all aspects of family law including financial settlements on divorce, continued on to say that it isn’t necessarily an incident which happens over the Christmas period that causes the divorce, but it’s more likely that couples reach their ‘bad peek’ at that time, and see the new year as a good time to take action.

 

“I don’t think people take the decision to divorce lightly,” she said.

 

“I think a bad Christmas can be the final straw. It can also be the fact that parents put their children first, and they make an effort to have one final Christmas together before they take the step to divorce.”

 

Lisa also operates one of the largest collaborative law practices in London, encouraging couples to reach an agreement without the stress and expense of a lengthy court battle.

 

She advised any couples wanting to divorce this month to try and agree as much as possible to avoid expense.

 

Of course, many people who experience difficulties around this time of year are hopeful that they will reconcile their differences.

 

Manchester Counsellor & Psychotherapist Sharon Shinwell, offered her advice to couples struggling to make their relationship work now that the new year has arrived.

 

“My advice for any couple experiencing difficulties would be to sit down together, when there are no distractions, and start talking. If talking always ends in an argument, seek professional help so that you can work from some sort of structured process,” she said.

 

“Often people seek help when it’s too late, as a last resort, rather than when they still love and respect each other. So recognizing that there is a problem and doing something about it is key!”

 

It’s not all doom and gloom however as surviving couples can look forward to spending the summer together – August is the time of year when people are least likely to make divorce enquiries – as they’re more likely to be enjoying their summer holidays.

 

To find out how to get in touch with Counsellor Sharon Shinwell, visit: http://www.counselling-manchester.com/

 

For divorce enquiries, contact Lisa Pepper via the Osbornes website: www.osbornes.net

 

By Katie Thistleton